We’ve all used the phrase “love addiction” at some point — maybe jokingly, maybe seriously. It’s evocative and dramatic: someone “addicted to love,” feeling obsessed with relationships, chasing connection from one partner to the next, or obsessing over someone who is unavailable. It captures something intense about human longing.
But does it reflect a real clinical condition?
According to therapists and researchers, the short answer is: love addiction is not an officially recognized mental health diagnosis. Neither the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) nor the World Health Organization’s ICD-11 includes “love addiction” as a formal disorder. This means that behaviors often labeled that way don’t fit neatly into the kinds of disease categories clinicians use for addiction to substances or clearly defined behavioral addictions.
That doesn’t mean the struggles people describe are imaginary. It means that the explanation and framework we use to talk about them matters.
Why People Use the Term “Love Addiction”
When someone says they are “addicted to love,” they usually mean one (or more) of the following:
They can’t seem to stop pursuing romantic relationships even when it hurts.
They jump from partner to partner without pause.
They feel desperate for love or reassurance.
Thoughts about their partner dominate their day, disrupting sleep, work, or wellbeing.
On the surface, these patterns look compulsive and harmful. That’s what makes the metaphor of addiction so powerful — they feel out of control, like something external is pulling the strings.
But labeling these experiences as an “addiction” can be misleading if we think of it the same way we think of substance addiction. The clinical criteria for addiction involve specific neurobiology, tolerance, withdrawal, and functional impairment in ways that aren’t clearly established for love itself.
A Better Lens: Attachment and Emotional Needs
Rather than calling the behavior “love addiction,” many clinicians find it more helpful to understand it through the lens of attachment theory — the idea that patterns in adult relationships often reflect early experiences with caregivers.
Attachment styles develop in childhood based on how responsive and safe caregivers were. These patterns influence how people relate to others as adults:
Secure attachment leads to comfort with closeness and independence.
Anxious attachment combines a strong desire for connection with fear of abandonment.
Avoidant attachment prioritizes independence and often avoids emotional intimacy.
Disorganized attachment reflects confusion and inconsistency in relating.
For someone with an anxious attachment style, intense pursuit of romantic relationships or repeated cycles of heartbreak might not be about “love addiction” at all. It may be a learned way of trying to soothe a deep-seated fear of abandonment or unmet emotional needs.
Understanding one’s patterns in this way shifts the focus from eradicating a behavior to understanding why it developed and what needs it is serving.
Why Attachment — Not Addiction — Makes More Sense Clinically
There are a few reasons clinicians prefer the attachment model:
1. It explains the emotional roots
Compulsive romantic behavior often arises from early relational experiences — not from a chemical dependency like drugs or alcohol. People are seeking connection, safety, or validation, not a substance.
2. It avoids pathologizing normal human longing
Love and romance are universal human experiences. Feeling deeply attached, desiring closeness, or even obsessing over a partner is not inherently pathological. When those feelings overshadow daily functioning or are paired with fear, they may reflect deeper patterns, not an addiction to love itself.
3. It points toward meaningful change
Attachment-based work invites curiosity: “What are you really seeking? What emotional needs are you trying to soothe? How were you cared for as a child?” These questions lead to exploration and growth. They invite connection rather than punishment.
Love Addiction Isn’t an Official Diagnosis — But the Pain Is Real
Even though “love addiction” isn’t a formal diagnosis, the distress people feel is real.
People often struggle with:
Fear of being alone
Emotional dependency
Repeated unhealthy relationship cycles
Belief that love will fill a void
Constant reassurance seeking
And those experiences can feel addictive — a compelling pattern that doesn’t seem to respond to logic or willpower alone.
The term “love addiction” sometimes arises because it feels better to name something painful — it gives it a framing that feels tangible. But relying on that label without context can lead people to the wrong kind of solutions, like addiction-style recovery programs that are not evidence-based for this issue.
A Healthier Path Forward: Self-Understanding and Emotional Regulation
If someone sees themselves repeating patterns like obsession, clinginess, or compulsive romantic pursuit, the real work isn’t about eliminating love. It’s about understanding:
What emotional needs are at play
How attachment patterns shape behavior
What fears or beliefs drive relational patterns
How to build secure attachment and healthy boundaries
Therapy that focuses on attachment, self-worth, emotional regulation, and secure relating is often far more effective than trying to “quit love” as if it were a substance or classic behavioural addiction.
Love is powerful, intense, and often consuming. Passion and longing are part of the human experience — not inherently pathological. Calling something an “addiction” can sometimes obscure the deeper emotional dynamics that underlie relationship struggles.
You don’t have to be “addicted to love” to find yourself repeating the same emotional patterns. Often, what feels like addiction is actually an attachment pattern, unmet needs seeking soothing, or a learned way of coping with emotional pain.
Understanding why someone behaves a certain way in relationships opens the door to real healing — and that’s a far more compassionate and effective path than a diagnosis that doesn’t yet exist.
